In terms of having one end outcome to aim for, i stuck with the idea of a collection of outcomes that i initially intended. After all, seeing as i explored all types of media, i felt loyal to all of them. Having a collection of pieces feels like the best way to present this project as i don't think it can be summed up in one image or item. It was more about having a developed exploration of superstition, eventually represented by recurring motifs and observations.
Although the pieces differ than what they were intended to be initially (poetry book-> 3 screenprint designs, fabric screenprints -> sewed tapestry, engraved tiles -> wonky pots), i'm happy that things turned out the way they did. The ceramic pieces, although not made with traditional clay, kiln and glazes, turned out to be a joy to make, and i wasn't held up by the process, rather it came naturally to me.
One of my initial, consistent goals for submission was to create a small poetry book or zine. It appeared that my work seemed to revolve around the playful writings i was making from early on in my sketchbook. If i were to have followed through into producing a book, i would have liked to have made it out of monoprints and hand stitched it, as the hand-made aesthetic is really central to my practice. however, i only have a handful of monoprints for development, a handful of poetry from the beginning, and none of the resources to create my envisioned book. the point was that it was going to be tactile and interactive-something playful and almost throwaway that has a certain gentle quality to it, Not only does trying to mock up something similar in a digital format not scratch the same itch for me as hand-making it, the poetry and monoprints seems a long way from the work i have created more recently. I felt revisiting it would confuse my flow, and not really add much more to my work- as i had already begun making work instinctively with a brand new tone and feel. I began following completely different motifs, symbols and words, and so the initial book concept was summed up into three screenprint designs instead- much more relevant to my more recent work and more natural an outcome. I'm not sad about losing what i thought was the central hub for the rest of my work to focus around, rather happy that i've stuck to my instincts and made work i never thought i would!
My screenprint design consists of the motifs i have developed throughout this project- the bird one being central, but also featuring the eye, flower, rain and star motif. The first one has 3 eyes and three flowers- three being the chinese number of luck and life, and simultaneously playing off the 'third eye' motif. It consists of 7 drops of rain/blood, and 13 white stars- the instruction to 'count your lucky stars' is literal, as well as reading between the lines searching for luck as well. The bird print is meant to be the central one, as it is the central point of the project. It echoes of the 'dove and olive branch' christian motif of hope and joy, whilst being surrounded by 7 stars and 13 droplets.
the third is perhaps the most unsettling to look at, itself being a lucky star with an eye, crying the droplets. Again, there are 13 lucky stars, and 7 of them are white.
The intention of the prints are to make you consider, in the form of an instruction, observing your surroundings and seeking out luck, fortune or misfortune. Playing with the idea of welcoming in unlucky numbers is more powerful than if the numbers were universally considered lucky- making you aware of bad fortune is more powerful than making you aware of good fortune, as it makes you more uncomfortable and likely to change your actions. The point is to make you recognise what bad thought patterns are, and change your approach to a more positive one- hence saying 'count your lucky stars', generally meaning 'look at what you have that's good in your life and don't take it for granted'.
I'm most satisfied with my set of three prints, even though they are yet to be physically printed. I think they really sum up the nature of my project, and completely differ from anything i intended to make at the start. They portray a lot of information on luck and misfortune, without being overtly spiritual. I'm glad that i incorporated a colour scheme, as this is something that usually terrifies me. It communicates the positive change in vibe of my work since i set out initially, and i think that's something to celebrate. I think that i will send off for the prints to be produced, as i would like to share and sell these works.
I'm frustrated at my lack of resources for finalising my ceramics and screenprints as i intended. I know this is out of anyone's control, and of course safety is the most important thing. I know there will be time in the future to make finalised work to a refined, beautiful finish, and i will be proud of it. I'm also frustrated by my slow beginning and sadness towards my project, which is where it stems from. I am constantly in awe at how mental state affects the tone communicated through artwork.
working from home in the quarantine has given me a real sense of freelance lifestyle. I realise i am more self-motivated than i ever gave myself credit for, even though there have been plenty of off-days to contend with. Professionally, i think that i've gotten back in touch with my original roots (from childhood really!), such as sewing, sketchbook work and ceramics, as well as thinking out of the box when short on resources (see salt-dough wall charms). I am proud of my work, my passion for it, and the ability to create when life is changing.
In terms of time management, it think it's a difficult one to make rigid disciplines for, even without Covid-19 happening, as it was just so long. I never thought i'd successfully manage to stay on topic and not completely give up/overwrite the whole thing. I never have been one for deadlines and self discipline, however i think that there was so much to explore in this project, and it took a bit of a turn in the middle, which kept it fresh. I never forced making work, and i'm glad for it- i don't resent anything i made and gave myself time off when i felt burn-out was coming. I managed to get the balance right for me by listening to myself and what i needed, which i have never really recognised before.
Personally, i have really benefited from having self-directed non-prescription work, less timetabling and societal pressure to impress and show up on time, a slower lifestyle, being around family and taking care of others, and essentially having multiple things going on in my life, that don't revolve around education. I know i will be suited to (and already have lined up!) self-directed projects which i can set my own goals for and work through at my own pace, although i will miss studio culture and university lifestyle, i'm more reassured and motivated by my own productivity in this pandemic than i think i would be if i were to leave university as 'normal'.
Although the final outcomes are definitely not the ones i initially planned, i'm happy with what i've made, especially with having to adapt everything under challenging circumstances. I am aware that if uni was till open, my work would have been completed to a much more consistent, arguably more professional standard, however, i am pleased with what i have accomplished. I think having other things to think about elongated my development phase, and gave the ideas time to marinade and come back more positively and tasty. I'm excited for the future, to start the projects i already have lined up, and to continue to be playful and curious about my practice, and see where that takes me.
peace and love,
roy xx
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